More ponderance

In going from one culture to another, one of the most apparent differences one encounters is the code of etiquette. Any kind of etiquette will change from area to area, but especially table manners. And silly, ignorant me, it never dawned on me why, growing up, my friends were so shocked at the way I ate.

Ironically, it was not until I had picked up and leafed through the introduction to Lonely Planet's Guide to Taiwan for this trip that that little nugget of information finally drilled its way through my skull. That was when my long-rusted epiphany bulb clicked out a glowing "Aha!" as I realized why I received gasps and shocked laughs from class/workmates when I raised a plate to my lips to push the remaining grains of rice into my mouth; as well as the lessons in (Western) etiquette my friends and their parents continually tried to teach me.

Alas, I am a resistantly stubborn bugger (no...not in that sense...), and refused to believe there was anything wrong with my methods of eating.

And, to my family, there isn't. Nothing out of the ordinary in noisily slurping soup; or spitting bones out onto the table next to one's plate; or exchanging bits and morsels among the different diners. For some reason, I never made this connection to the ostracization by my classmates of my eating habits. I suppose that says something about my social skills (rather, lack thereof), starting from a very young age.

The reverse is also true, in that there are Taiwanese (and Southeast Asian, in general) habits that I never acquired or developed. This is despite, or perhaps because of my familial influence. That whole cultural clash thing going on again. For instance, I never got used to the commenting my family members do regarding one's slimness, or lack thereof, upon seeing each other. I also generally do not buy into the superstitions that unconsciously guide my relatives' lives (horoscopes, blood types, fortune tellers, etc.). I don't think there's any harm in these beliefs, though.

These are things that foreigners likely notice first upon arriving in a Southeast Asian country, and so I feel like I am one. And yet there is a thin but unavoidable umbilical cord connecting me to Taiwan.

As an overseas Chinese (華僑), I have been shaped by both cultures and societies that I am inextricably a part of; and yet, I feel I belong to neither. Or, in finding more similarities with the Western lifestyle, there is an undercurrent of feeling traitorous to my ancestry. How does one resolve such differences?

My personality is a product of cultural clash. It has shaped how I see the world, and I'm sure a part of my rebellious streak is a result of that. I hold allegiance to neither world, belong wholly to neither...

Well, this is all getting quite heavy. But there's a thunderstorm greying the sky outside, and my mind should be on other things. Time to get active!